Things Women Say That Piss Off Men: Money

Sunday, August 28, 2011

"You don’t make enough money."

That's not enough
Actually, she’ll never come out and say this to you. She’ll infer it; you’ll understand it; but it’ll never be said. You’ll finally get it after she leaves you for another guy. After, of course, taking you for what little you’ve got.

This is when a woman is at her worst. She sees a guy with no funds to make her happy in the manner to which she’s become accustomed, but she’ll date him anyway. Why? Any number of reasons. She’s bored. She’s between boyfriends. Her current boyfriend is out of town maybe, and she doesn’t like to be alone. Meanwhile, you spend every penny of your spare cash to take her to nice restaurants, buy her little presents, maybe take a couple of trips. But as that credit card balance is going up, her respect for you is plummeting. 

I know you’re not getting any

You don’t make enough money for her. Your clothes show it, your friends show their lack of sophistication, and your apartment looks like it was modeled from a college dorm. You have gotten rid of those cheesecake posters right? The ones with the oily girls…

Your car’s not good enough
Sorry Pard. Time to part with those things. They don’t show your studliness, your appreciation for the female form; they only show that you’re not getting any. Stash them deep in the Man Cave. Same as those Angel/Devil decals on your car. Tacky. You know how you’d feel if your lady drove up with an outline of a guy’s Schnitzel on her back window? Would you want to get in and drive around? Maybe you would. But you'd look like an asshole. Just like you do with your little nude girl decals.

You’re not my daddy

And yes, by the way: your car isn’t quite good enough either.

It’s okay though, all is not lost. You may fall short this time, but don't despair. Take the bruised ego and let her fly once she finds her cash-making Alpha Male. In a few years you’ll marry someone just like her, when she figures out that money wasn’t everything.

Of course by then, she’ll be carrying around Alpha’s kid…