I am Miley Cyrus Taking Pilates

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Talkin’ ‘bout my generation: It’s Pilates
Pilates. Developed by a German named Joseph Pilates, an exercise routine stressing breathing, toning, strength, and flexibility.

One could also say yoga, except if we want to have the exact same thing in another generation, we pretend someone “invented” something new and that makes us all feel hip and cool. 

It’s yoga.

Who cares. Miley Cyrus, here, takes Pilates (the class, not the guy) in West Hollywood. She attributes Pilates to her finely toned, in shape body. That, and being 19 freaking years old, for God’s sake. So she eats good food and exercises. When you’re 19 years old you don’t need to do much more than that. Then again Britney Spears was once 19 years old. Hahaha!! Oh, memories.

Creepy Dad and his hillbilly friends
I wish I had Miley money. I would also eat things that you’ve never heard of, brought to me by people whose names I cannot pronounce. But it wouldn’t matter because I don’t need to know their names. I have money. I am Miley Cyrus.

The only drawback to being me, is that I have this creepy dad who wears a mullet and got me to pose in this weird Vanity Fair shoot with him. But it’s okay because the media swallowed the whole “artsy” excuse. Creeeepy Daaad…

What is it with screwy fathers anyway? Lindsay Lohan has one. Michael Jackson had one. Ozzy Osbourne is one. So is Hulk Hogan.

But that doesn’t matter. I don’t have to worry about them or any dads. I have money and talent. I have an army of people who do what I want. I take Pilates.

I am Miley Cyrus.

Miley coming from Pilates in West Hollywood:


 Miley still in West Hollywood’s Pilates. She changed her clothes to hide from me. But I found her. I'll always find her. I am Creepy Dad.