Kim Kardashian is Better Than You

Better than you

Kim Kardashian is better than you.

She eats better food. She wears better clothes. She drives nicer cars. She has more money. She has more fun. She takes vacations from a job she doesn’t have, to exotic locales, stays in comfortable suites and eats better food there than you would anywhere. She gets massages after a hard day playing in the surf in her bikini, from professional therapists.

God loves her more than He loves you or me. He designed her with all the benefits of the best human being: shapely curves, large breasts, indifference to men until they can take it no longer and publicly fall over themselves to be with her. Then, since that could never be enough, He gave her a rich, doting family so she would always be taken care of. Then He made her famous so her every move would be cataloged for eternity.

Only  the best melons

She has for now settled for someone named Kanye West. This Pretender to the Throne has splurged, in his words, for a Caribbean vacation with only him, Kim, a personal chef, and five bodyguards. Said a source, “Kanye knows Kim is used to staying in luxury but wanted to top everything she’s experienced. Money is no object, he wants the best of everything.”

Kim is used to the best, Kanye West. You will have to do better. Personally, I could not be in such company. It is that I would not be worthy to be in their company, nay, their hemisphere. I feel I must apologize for being in their world at all.

So play, young gods and goddesses. For you are better than we, as is shown by your grace in the face of God. For only He could have bestowed such richness upon ye.

In eons past, she would have commanded armies…

Today she commands you.

 

Kim is used to finer clothes and rightfully demands them…

 

She supports the common sailor, for they protect her Graciousness from those who would harm her…

 She purchases goods from common, unworthy souls…

 She is used to The Best

 Sister Kourtney is also, naturally, better than you...

 A well deserved vacation…

Kim is unimpressed by your super yacht

You bore her

 My King, My Queen…

Ye Shall Bow 

Trayvon Martin Rises From the Dead

Trayvon with bag of Skittles and Iced Tea

Ah, Justice in America. Glue together enough big mouths and busybodies, Liberal Arts professors, guilty white bored housewives, spray with interventional uh, ahem, “coverage” by the Media, and like magic- viola! Charges are filed so we can continue another long national descent into madness.

Divide and conquer, Baby!

Was Zimmerman within the law? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Neither were you, your English teacher, some San Francisco hoodie wearing artist, Obama, Al Sharpton  or his annoying ambulance chasing spawn JJ.  

But that doesn’t change the fact that we all know what happened that night, does it. We listened to the 911 tapes, and with our practiced, unbiased ears, we heard screams and instantly knew, not ever having met either of the parties involved, who was saying what, who was on top, who started it and who was winning the fight.  And after NBC admitted to doctoring the tapes, it didn’t matter because we knew what we heard anyway.

Follow me. Do what I say.

The story is disturbing on many levels. Yes, yes I know, a teenager was killed, I heard that one. Happens every day here in America, sometimes twice. What is worse however, is what it does to our already decayed and broken moral fabric. OJ murdered his ex-wife in 1994 and thousands cheered following his acquittal. Habitual loser Rodney King’s police assailants were at first freed, then two of four sent to prison by an America quick to bend over for Mob votes. What happened in each case, of course, was Mob justice brought on by racist ideals. Send the cops to jail or else, and when that didn’t happen, riots. Three years later, fearing another lesson in racist politics, the clown circus that was the OJ trial ended with a murderer walking free.

Oh, by the way, I wasn’t there, and neither were you. But the difference is, there was witness testimony and a prior conviction for robbery in King’s case; with OJ there was a mountain of blood and DNA evidence but not enough to slow a slick lawyer. So I formed my opinions, and an opinion is what I give here.

Make my opinions your own, my students…

Zimmerman may well have been within the law for killing Trayvon. Without witnesses, and with nothing but unclear 911 tapes and a muddled initial investigation, we’ll never really know. He has to be exonerated based on the law as it is written. When that happens, let’s hope that we act like adults, huh? Casey Anthony murdered her baby and walked free. Do we tweet her address to get her killed? No, we just walked around pissed off, and rightly so.

Given the nature of the Mob though, expect riots, looting, and burning cars. Because nothing brings fair change to America like torching the neighborhood.

 A photo history of stupidity:

 

 Media Portrayal of Trayvon and Zimmerman:

 

Actual Photos of Trayvon:

 

Wait, wait… This is NBC right? No? Let’s try again. Actual photos of Trayvon:

 Trayvon on the night in question:

Trayvon gonna get you some Skittles

 Whoa! There I go again, joking in a serious situation. But when something becomes a circus, the clowns come a-callin’. Witness these idiots…

I had some Skittles but I eated them

Next, please

Dance hall gals afraid to show their faces

 

Question: does Skittle and Arizona Iced Tea stock go up or down now?

 

 Your elected officials pandering for votes:

 Sheriff of Skittletown

 And when a red herring drops in your lap…

If I had a son, he wouldn’t ask me about high gas prices or the failed economy

White Guilt:

Or, how to get upset over stuff that really doesn’t concern me but I want to show everyone how enlightened I am...

Old white guys also have  no job and a lot of time on their hands

 

Protestors:

Damn, girl! Whatever it is you want, I’ll do it!

 How many pounds of pork fat can we shove into a rainbow colored outfit? The answer below…

I’m a sexy girl in a sexy world

 

Politically Correct Eye Bleach, Please, and Stat

Thanks for the Cuban, Mr Jackson

 A waste of cash:

 You know who else could use footballs and teddy bears? Living kids. Kids in the hospital, kids with cancer. Homeless kids.

 A waste of life:

The original hoodie man

 The humanitarian side of the issue: racist name calling and bounty for murder. Hey as long as we get our way and make a few bucks, right?

 This girl is a little upset over what she perceives as unfair and inequitable treatment under the law. She provides a thought provoking argument, but I fail to see her side of the story. That, or she’s batshit crazy.

 7 men in hoodies assisting a citizen with his groceries. Psych! It’s a home invasion caught on security cam, and yes, they were wearing your innocent, artsy little hoodies.

 

So, to sum up:

 

Because anything else is just kind of stupid.